Turtles Alive!

In an exclusive interview, Grandma Crick, the eminent explorer and award-winning scientist, reveals that King Josef did order for her to be fed to the Monger turtles, and that she was held prisoner for FIVE DAYS while granddaughter Mila was sent to find the infamous Evertrue Emerald, just as The Scoop had reported. Many have called to have the turtles relocated, driven down to the lower plains, where they can hunt in peace. Zoologist, Hans Zynski, has claimed that the turtles provide balance to the local environment, eating the troublesome Nosewig beetles that feed on crops. However, he has since changed his opinion, after having his cart trampled by the giant reptiles.

The Monger turtles at Hangman’s creek.


There have been reports this week of sightings of the mysterious entities known only as Tree-shifts. The creatures, previously believed only to exist in the wild north, are thought to lure unsuspecting victims into the woods and to swap places with them, turning the miserable victim into a shift whilst the creature returns to their unsuspecting families. It is claimed that shifts are behind the disappearance of a number of people in the town. Teresa Zelena, 34, of Cowslip End believes her husband has met one. “He’s hardly said a word to anyone since he got back from his trip to Zilensk. It was a full moon when he went, and I begged him not to go, and then he came back like this! I’m scared out of my wits,” she added. In response to these stories, Mathilde the witch has offered the families of victims a reversal charm at the reduced rate of only 5 tolar or a similar value exchange. Interested parties may contact Mathilde at the Old Oak behind Gunter’s field.

WHITEWASH AT THE PALACE. Angry king not involved in GEMGATE, he claims. See pg 2.

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