Did I tell you about last year’s holiday?
Oh my god, you’re going to laugh
when I tell you about the dirty great emu
that ate Dave’s crackers.
We wanted to go somewhere warm but not too hot
cause Dave always gets a gippy belly
but, of course, he got gippy belly
anyway ‘cause the stupid holiday
shop in the high street could only do somewhere hot
at that price for Christmas. Well you have to laugh
don’t you? You’d go crackers
otherwise, what with emus
running about all over the place! I had emu
on the brain by the end. Anyway, to keep his belly
happy, all Dave could eat was crackers
the entire holiday.
Ooh, I couldn’t help but laugh,
what with the all the dust and the hot
weather! No salad for him – just in case they threw in a hot
chilli (you know how foreigners are). Sunday’s entertainment was emu
racing and Mum had a go ‘cause she said it’d be a laugh
– and Dave said she was right, and he laughed till his belly
hurt! Well we’d only be home for the holiday
otherwise, pulling Christmas crackers
(and going crackers
with boredom) instead of somewhere hot.
We reckoned an all-in holiday
with emu
racing and belly
dancers is bound to be a laugh.
Well, laugh?
The waiters must have thought we were crackers!
What with the emu nicking a quick snack, Dave spat beer down his belly
and went bright red and got all hot
and out of sorts with us laughing at him… but then the emu
bit him and we had to end the holiday.
So, what with the gippy belly and the hot weather
and all the laughs we had. And the crackers for dinner,
and the daft emu racing… we’re just having a quiet holiday this year.
[NB views do not reflect those of the author, even though I AM the author :-D) Jill London
