Two Weeks All-In at the Hotel Sestina

Photo by Mu00e1ximo on

Did I tell you about last year’s holiday?

Oh my god, you’re going to laugh

when I tell you about the dirty great emu

that ate Dave’s crackers.

We wanted to go somewhere warm but not too hot

cause Dave always gets a gippy belly

but, of course, he got gippy belly

anyway ‘cause the stupid holiday

shop in the high street could only do somewhere hot

at that price for Christmas. Well you have to laugh

don’t you? You’d go crackers

otherwise, what with emus

running about all over the place! I had emu

on the brain by the end. Anyway, to keep his belly

happy, all Dave could eat was crackers

the entire holiday.

Ooh, I couldn’t help but laugh,

what with the all the dust and the hot

weather! No salad for him – just in case they threw in a hot

chilli (you know how foreigners are). Sunday’s entertainment was emu

racing and Mum had a go ‘cause she said it’d be a laugh

– and Dave said she was right, and he laughed till his belly

hurt! Well we’d only be home for the holiday

otherwise, pulling Christmas crackers

(and going crackers

with boredom) instead of somewhere hot.

We reckoned an all-in holiday

with emu

racing and belly

dancers is bound to be a laugh.

Well, laugh?

The waiters must have thought we were crackers!

What with the emu nicking a quick snack, Dave spat beer down his belly

and went bright red and got all hot

and out of sorts with us laughing at him… but then the emu

bit him and we had to end the holiday.

So, what with the gippy belly and the hot weather

and all the laughs we had. And the crackers for dinner,

and the daft emu racing… we’re just having a quiet holiday this year.

[NB views do not reflect those of the author, even though I AM the author :-D) Jill London

Published by Jill London

Hi, I’m Jill, a writer and teacher living in the UK, usually behind a desk but sometimes on a sofa with a book or a film. I began writing at around age three, legibly by five, although I didn’t write any stories until I was older. Aged eleven, I began writing children’s fiction, mostly middle-grade fantasy and I’m still doing it to this day. I have had stories published online and in My Weekly magazine. The best bit about writing is when ideas pop into your head (from the writing fairy presumably?) and everything starts clipping together like a jigsaw puzzle. The worst bit? When you start to get the feeling there's a piece missing from the box...

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